Yossi ben Yochanan Ish Yerushalayim dit: Que votre maison soit grande ouverte, [comme la maison de notre père Abraham, que la paix soit sur lui, qui était ouverte des quatre côtés, afin que les invités n'aient pas à faire un circuit pour trouver le porte], et que les pauvres [d'Israël] soient les habitants de ta maison, [—que l'on n'engage pas de serviteurs (gentils) pour le servir. Mieux vaut que les Juifs profitent de ses possessions et non de la semence de la maudite Canaan.], Et n'abusez pas de discours avec la femme. [De "la femme" par opposition à "une femme", nous déduisons qu'ils ont dit cela] de sa propre femme; combien plus (cela s'applique-t-il) à la femme de son voisin! [D'autres expliquent que cela s'applique à sa femme dans un état de niddah, afin qu'il ne vienne pas au péché lui-même; mais le langage de la Mishnah semble impliquer que même sa femme dans un état non niddah est destinée. Et c'est ainsi que les sages (Chagigah 5b) ont dit (Amos 4:13): "Et Il dit à un homme ce qu'est son contraire"— Même la conversation superflue entre un homme et sa femme est racontée à un homme au moment du jugement (et il en est tenu responsable — à moins qu'il ne doive la prédisposer à l'acte de mitsva [c'est-à-dire à la cohabitation], comme dans le cas de Rav, qui converserait et «jouerait» (avec elle) puis vivrait avec elle] —d'où viennent les sages: Lorsqu'un homme s'engage dans une conversation superflue avec sa femme, il se fait du mal. [Rabbeinu Hakadosh, qui a codifié la Michna, a écrit: D'après les paroles de ce sage, qui a dit: "Et ne pas abuser de discours avec la femme", les sages ont enseigné que chaque fois qu'un homme s'engage dans une conversation superflue avec sa femme, il apporte le mal sur lui-même. (J'ai trouvé qu'il était écrit que lorsqu'un homme se rapporte à sa femme: "Ceci et c'est ce qui m'est arrivé avec cet homme", elle lui apprend à susciter des conflits, comme dans le cas de Korach, qui a raconté à sa femme que Moïse avait "élevé les Lévites"— sa réponse l'a incité à se quereller.) Ou, quand il lui dit que ses amis l'ont rabaissé et humilié, elle aussi le méprise dans son cœur, et il s'attire ainsi le mal sur lui-même], et, [en se préoccupant de bavardages ,] il néglige l'étude de la Torah et, à la fin, hérite de Gehinnom.]
Pele Yoetz
The love between a husband and wife must be a passionate one. We will begin with the love of the husband to his wife for the declaration of our Sages (Yevamot 62b) is known, "That the husband is obligated to love his wife as himself and to honor her more than himself." Nonetheless, he may not compromise his service of G-d because of his love for her. The tanna (Avot 1:5) already cautioned, "Do not speak excessively with a woman. This is referring to one's wife, for anyone who does speak excessively with a woman causes evil to himself, is idle from words of Torah, and in the end will inherit Gehinom." Our Sages said (Baba Metzia 59a), "One who goes after the counsel of his wife falls into Gehinom." In light of this condition, every wise man must act with cleverness. As our Sages commented (Sanhedrin 107b), "The left hand should push away as the right hand brings close." The primary love is the love of the soul. It is incumbent upon the husband to admonish his wife with pleasant words, to guide her in the ways of modesty, to distance her from slander, anger, cursing, the mention of G-d's name in vain, and similar things in the Orders of Nashim and Nezikin. He should caution her in regard to the details of mitzvot – especially in the areas of prayer, blessings of benefit from this world, the observance of Shabbat, etc. How good and how pleasant it would be for him to teach her ideas of ethical improvement and to share with her words of the Sages in all matters that are relevant to her and their severity. Then her heart will tremble and she will be even more careful thana man.
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Shemirat HaLashon
It is written (Vayikra 19:16): "Do not go talebearing among your people." This negative commandment includes both rechiluth and lashon hara, as we find in Yerushalmi. [Rechiluth (talebearing)] is one's saying to his friend: "Ploni said this about you" or "did this and this to you." Lashon hara is one's telling his friend something demeaning of another, or other things which cause him (the other) bodily, monetary, or emotional harm.] And this negative commandment also includes lashon hara, as our sages of blessed memory have said in explanation of this verse: "Do not be as a merchant [rochel], who takes his wares from one to another." And it is known that this negative commandment obtains even if what is said is the truth, as all of the commentators have written. For if it is false, it is in the category of motzi shem ra [giving out a bad name], and is far more severe than lashon hara in general. Preceding the aforementioned verse is [Ibid. 15): "…In righteousness shall you judge your neighbor," concerning which our sages of blessed memory have said (Avoth 1:5): "Judge every man in the scales of merit." This also applies to our subject, implying that even if you see something demeaning in him, still you must seek some merit in him, viz.: Perhaps he spoke or did this thing unwittingly, or he did not know that it is forbidden to do or say this thing, or perhaps he has already regretted [what he did or said], and the like. Therefore, Scripture commanded that you not bear tales about him and not tell others the demeaning things that you know about him. All the details of lashon hara and rechiluth, and the greatness of the reward of him who takes care to avoid it, and the punishment for the transgressor are explained in Chafetz Chaim and Shemirath Halashon, Chapter I.
